Last year was a shock to my system: losing three friends in a short period, then my favourite uncle, and soon after my 92-year-old aunt – last of my father’s siblings, end of an era. And as if to ‘add insult to injury’, my home-away-from-home Alternative Grounds café closed after 19 years of enriching the community. There at least I could have ‘licked my wounds’; but instead I felt thrust into a state of suspension, lost, powerless.
I blocked on the fact that I was in mourning. For several months it was as if someone had tapped me with a magic wand and rendered me neutral. One result was a ‘failure to post’ since mid-January. My heart just wasn’t into it. The blocking resulted in depression, and once I realized that, I knew I had to take action. Shake myself off and do something, anything, to gain back a sense of control over my life. That something was a drive to Florida, and a nourishing visit with my sister.
There in the warm sunshine I began to regain my perspective and a renewed sense of purpose. Now tears rise more easily, occasionally (a good thing); and I am re-energized, focused. ‘Fearless’ is back 🙂