Imperfection welcome

I am wearing a simple ring that I made possibly 25 years ago.  For decades it lay in the dark, unworn, because it was a failed, imperfect piece.   It was hidden, in the same way I hid occasional creations – sketches, paintings, pastels, a poorly knitted sweater – not to mention attempts to hide or disguise my own physical imperfections.  I only stopped dying, perming or straightening my hair a few years ago, and now the gray feels so free.

Despite voice training, I could not sing in front of others – even my own children.  Only when I was alone did I sing out freely.  I was terrified of speaking in front of groups, to the point of avoiding jobs in which I might ever have to do so.  I failed grades in high school because I played sick on “public speaking” days and for any event where I would have to be visible (except for hiding in the ‘glee club’).  And when I was executive v.p. of my peace group after eight years of activism, I quit to avoid becoming president.  You can guess why.

How much therapy did I have, how many ‘how to’ groups did I join, how much hypnosis did I try, all in an effort to change these fears?  Countless.

And then recently – through methods I won’t talk about now – I began to be able to speak – and even sing! – regardless of audience.   Wound into this experience was the acceptance of my imperfections – my right to be as imperfect as anyone.   In fact, some might say I embraced my imperfections (that would be an exaggeration).

At about the same time, I found myself wearing my imperfect ring.  It has a mellow softness to it.  It has become part of my everyday life.  It has become a symbol of acceptance of my imperfection.

This entry was posted in consciousness, experience, Feelings, imperfection, Inclusion, personal growth, personal power, psychology, public speaking, reflections and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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