I haven’t posted here for so long that readers may have assumed I had quit. “Fearless” just couldn’t hack it!
I confess to being distracted since January. On April 1st after a 15 year battle with prostate cancer, my brother Steve died. I can just hear him chuckling over the ‘April Fools’ date. I started to write about him the next day; but try as I might, for weeks on end, I just couldn’t do it…
Thanks to Vreni for her moving photo
Since the age of 13, I’ve written at the drop of a hat — it’s how I process life. But since January, in a kind of suspended state, I have written nothing. Truth is I was avoiding my feelings.
One day over coffee with friends, a gentleman I barely knew casually asked how many siblings I had. It was the first time I’d had to answer that question and subtract Steve. It made me cry – which happened often in the first few months.
Now as the days and weeks pass, I am more able to have normal conversations – even speak passionately about an issue without it triggering tears. And now, a little something to post. I trust more will come. Someday no doubt I’ll even be able to write about Steve. But not yet.
I paused for awhile; and life does go on.